CAR RIP OFF GETS ECLIPSED
A Florida crook had his sunny outlook dimmed on Monday when he got busted for driving off in a stolen car, then pulling over to watch the solar eclipse.
Jocsan Feliciano Rosado swiped the ride in Orange County but didn't simply hit the open road. Instead, he stopped at a home-improvement store to purchase a welder's mask, which he slipped on to view the once-in-a-lifetime nationwide Eclipse -- allowing cops to nab him shortly before peak totality.
To add insult to injury, Rosado was told that welder's masks aren't even approved for eclipse viewing. Sun of a gun!