ARRESTED FOR TWEETING?
Security agents at an airport in Vietnam stopped a man for tweeting, and he wasn't even on his smartphone. He was literally tweeting from his pants.
The man was trying to catch a flight to Taiwan but was stopped at security because he was trying to smuggle 18 live birds in his pants. Each little bird was strapped to his legs inside a little bag with only its head and tail sticking out. Most of the birds are banned from leaving the country, and 11 of them are on the list of protected species.
The man was arrested and is under investigation.
MAN SHE REALLY LIKES CHEETOS:
A Florida woman was arrested for punching a convenience store worker who'd tried to retrieve a bag of Cheetos that she was hiding in her crotch.
49-year-old Melissa Mower is accused of trying to steal the cheesy snack and a six-pack of beer from a convenience store. The female store worker confronted her as she walked out and demanded the items. Mower returned the beer, but shoved the Cheetos under her sundress and ran away. But the employee wasn't going to let her get away that easy. She gave chase and followed Mower into the woods. Mower again refused to give up the Cheetos and punched the worker in the eye.
As you know, it ain't easy being cheesy, and Mower was eventually captured by police, who found her in possession of the Cheetos. She was arrested and charged with theft and battery.
CALL HIM BRUCE...
A Florida man has changed his name to Bruce Jenner because he believes the name should be brought back to its "heterosexual roots."
The actor and bodyguard, who was born Mark Behar and actually once worked for the Kardashian family, says he wanted to take the name Bruce Jenner after the former Olympic track star became Caitlyn Jenner. His publicist (yes, he has a publicist) released a statement saying, "The famous Bruce Jenner name will return to its heterosexual roots where our client believes it belongs, instead of hanging out with the likes of the Kardashians and getting into car accidents as Caitlyn."
The new Bruce Jenner, who claims to be a "110 percent All-American Alpha Male," has a Facebook page promoting himself, mocking Caitlyn Jenner and supporting Donald Trump.
COPS NAB REAL LIFE MARTY MCFLY!
Police in Oklahoma City have arrested a man from the future who traveled back in time to steal chicken and bacon from a fast food restaurant, and then assaulted an employee.
Cops say 36-year-old Dante Rashad Anderson, whom to the best of their knowledge is actually not from the future, walked into a Carl's Jr. and demanded food from employees. They refused and ordered him to leave, so he headed over to a nearby Arby's. There, he jumped over the counter and ran into the kitchen, where he pushed a female employee against a wall and grabbed a handful of bacon and chicken before walking out.
Officers eventually found him lying on the ground near a taco restaurant. He told them he'd stolen the food because he's from four years in the future, where everyone is dead, and he was hungry. He was taken to the hospital to have a minor injury looked at and then booked into jail on charges of assault and battery, larceny, and destruction of property.
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