PARTY FOUL
A 20-year-old Georgia man is under arrest after he attacked patrons inside a bar -- with a bottle of fart spray.
The stench sent people running out of the bar, and police were called to investigate the odor. Witnesses implicated Blake Zengo and police approached him.
They say he was very drunk and slurring his speech.
He denied any wrongdoing, but after a woman told police that he had sprayed her in the face with a fart spray, cops searched his pockets and found a bottle of a "Liquid Ass."
The non-toxic novelty item promises to fill the air "with a genuine, foul butt-crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo." Zengo was charged with disorderly conduct, public intoxication and underage possession of alcohol.
SAD SACK IN YAK FLAK
A British man really had a cow when he woke up after taking too many sleeping pills and finding out that he'd drowsily gone on an online shopping spree -- and spent $3000 for a live yak!
The man, who really wanted to remain anonymous, went way beyond drunk dialing during his binge, and ended up placing an order with a company peddling exotic livestock. He asked that he be sent a "golden yak cow" that would run him a shade under $2700 -- plus about $400 for shipping. (You wouldn't expect it to walk all the way from Asia, would you?)
The sheepish shopper panicked when he saw the invoice in his inbox, but luckily, the yak-dealer was understanding. The would-be yak owner later posted an online update explaining that he'd managed to convince the seller to cancel shipment, saying, "Oh I’m sure you would've all liked for me to just let them deliver it, but my apartment complex would boot my [butt] on to the street. The only thing worse than being homeless is being a homeless yak owner."
DO NOT INHALE - GO STRAIGHT TO JAIL
A Florida man huffed and puffed when cops pulled him over on drug and traffic charges -- and wouldn't let him puff one last smoke before being hauled off in handcuffs.
A cop tried to flag down Shawn Rutig after he spotted the 31-year-old driving erratically down the middle of a sidewalk in Leesburg, but he refused to pull over. That's easy to understand, since the officers who eventually pulled Rutig over found his vehicle to be packed with meth, scales, syringes and other paraphernalia -- along with a safe filled with more drugs in the trunk.
According to the police report, Rutig did not resist arrest, but did hesitate before getting out of his ride, saying he really needed to smoke one more cigarette before going to jail -- a request deputies denied.
BedEx
A FedEx employee picked a heck of a spot for a quick nap.
The unnamed worker grew tired while loading packages onto a FedEx cargo plane in Memphis and decided to grab a few Z's. When he finally woke up, he was 30,000 feet in the air on his way to Lubbock, Texas. He reportedly walked up to the cockpit door and knocked to get the pilot's attention, but the pilot wasn't about to open the door for someone who wasn't supposed to be on the plane and told the worker to use a phone in the cabin to communicate.
After the plane landed, the worker was questioned by police and released to FedEx officials. He was not arrested.
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