THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR...BUSTING.
A Florida woman got a little too big for her boots during a substance-fueled rampage in which she beat up an elderly driver and attacked a cop -- while wearing nothing but a pair of cowboy boots.
Kelly Marie Carpenter was causing a scene in the middle of the street on Saturday evening, cursing and approaching vehicles while buck naked, except her footwear. When a 90-year-old driver came to a stop at a red light, Carpenter ran up to his car and began punching him through the open driver's side window -- forcing him to call 911 for help.
An officer arrived on the scene moments later and found the 51-year-old Carpenter still standing there, surrounded by a variety of household items. She threw a spray bottle in his direction and then rushed at him, hitting him with a squeegee and demanding, "Arrest me -- I'm naked!"
The cop did just that, taking her to jail, where she was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, battery on a person over the age of 65 and indecent exposure.
NEVER BRING A KNIFE TO A DOG FIGHT:
A disagreement between two people over dog poop came to an abrupt end when one of the combatants pulled out a large machete.
Police in Marin County, California say the incident took place in an unincorporated community ironically called Dogtown. A 31-year-old man from Alabama was with friends inside a car when he let his 80-pound dog out to relieve itself on the side of the road. A resident witnessed the dirty deed and approached the dog's owner. The two started arguing over the poop, and the owner went back to the car and pulled out a large two-foot knife. He then started swinging it, and the resident wisely walked away and called police.
Cops were able to catch up to the doggy-doo dope at a nearby beach and arrested him.
HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL ARRESTED FOR....
An Arizona high school football player has been arrested after authorities learned that he'd deliberately exposed himself in the team photo.
19-year-old Hunter Osborn admits that he did it on a dare from a teammate and never expected it to turn into such a big deal. The photo was printed in the school yearbook, which was going to be distributed to 3400 students at Red Mountain High School. But after about 250 of them had been handed out, students noticed the exposed member and the school was notified.
School officials notified police, who arrested Osborn last weekend on 69 counts of indecent exposure and one count of furnishing harmful items to minors. The school is trying to collect all of the yearbooks that were distributed and is editing all of the copies before handing them out to students.
HUFF N' STUFF
A Florida man got really huffy when cops interrupted his roadside snooze last week -- upon opening his eyes, before saying a word, he immediately tried to huff fumes from an aerosol can.
Christopher Anthony Carstafhnur was passed out cold when officers responded to a 911 call about his oddly parked car blocking an intersection. The deputies finally roused the 34-year-old, who reached over for a can of Ultra Duster and began sucking down the contents.
Carstafhnur resisted police attempts to confiscate the can and refused to exit his vehicle. Cops searched the car and found a cigarette pack filled with cocaine.
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