The Twang Town Lowdown: Monday, April 25th

 

MORE DETAILS ON STRAIT TO VEGAS SHOWS:



George Strait kicked off his Strait to Vegas concert series over the weekend with two shows at Sin City's new T-Mobile Arena. 

During opening night on Friday (4/22), King George performed for over two hours, entertaining a record-setting crowd of more than 19,000 fans. Strait couldn't be more thrilled about his return to the stage, telling the crowd, "I've missed you guys and I'm looking forward to being here a few more nights this year." 

George still has 4 shows scheduled at the T-Mobile Arena in September and December as well as two concerts in February of 2017.

Aside from playing some of his biggest hits, Strait also took a moment to pay tribute to the late Merle Haggard, who was not only a country legend to Strait but also a friend. 

"We'll never get to hear Merle play live again, but his music will live on forever," George said before launching into a medley consisting of "Mama Tried," "Fightin' Side of Me," and "My Life's Been Grand."

CHASE RICE GOES BACK TO HIS COLLEGE:



Chase Rice recently returned to his alma mater, the University of North Carolina (UNC) at Chapel Hill, to perform a show on his "Back to College Tour." 

Rice's return to UNC marked his first concert at the school as a headlining artist and was a homecoming he'll never forget. He says, "Carolina will always have my heart. I will always be a Tar Heel, and that makes this particular show really special to me."

Chase says the lessons he learned at the school weren't just about being a student or a football player, but also about getting injured and losing his dad during his senior year. Rice shares, "Those experiences changed my life forever. Ultimately, they brought me to music and so it's really cool to bring it all back to where it started."
Chase's return to UNC Chapel Hill was featured in a new episode of CMT Hot 20 Countdown that premiered over the weekend.
Rice's next stop on the "Back to College Tour" will be this Friday (4/29) at East Georgia State College in Swainsboro, Georgia. 

BLAKE SHELTON SHARES DUET DETAILS



Blake Shelton is opening up about his new duet with girlfriend Gwen Stefani titled "Go Ahead and Break My Heart," which appears on Shelton's new album, If I'm Honest. Blake tells Entertainment Tonight, "(The song) is very personal for us both because, you know, we obviously have this bond that is remarkable together." And the fact that they even wrote the song together is a rarity, says Shelton. He shares, "I don't co-write that much because I'm very insecure about it I guess and (Gwen's) kind of got her circle of people that she writes with. But for us to reach out to each other as writers, it may never happen again, who knows."

But rare or not, Shelton's very proud of how their collaboration turned out. He says, "I hesitate to brag on it too much but I really think that it's as good of a song as I've ever written in my life."

Gwen nearly broke the internet last week when she tweeted a picture of the back of Blake's new record, revealing their duet.

RAISING MONEY FOR HOMETOWN HOSPITAL – JASON ALDEAN


Jason Aldean returned to his hometown of Macon, Georgia, on Thursday night (4/21) for an intimate concert to benefit a good cause. Aldean took the stage at the at the city's historic downtown Grand Opera House and treated his hometown crowd to intimate stripped-down performance. The sold-out concert raised more than $500,000 for Children's Hospital, Navicent Health, which is a pediatric facility in central Georgia that enhances the lives of children through patient care, research and education.

Aldean was overwhelmed by the amount of money raised by the community on Thursday night, and he couldn't more proud to call Macon his hometown. Jason shares, "Every single penny helps an organization that means a lot to me and I can’t thank everyone enough for helping these kids. Emotions were running high seeing all those faces familiar faces come out to support."

The D.A. Of The Day - Monday, April 25th

  

Half Baked:


  

A Florida man was arrested last week for possessing marijuana with the intent to sell, and judging by his epic mugshot, he's not going to be able to deny the charge.

58-year-old Kevin Gibson was collared just a day before 4-20, which he was probably really looking forward to. His arrest is hardly newsworthy, but his mugshot is one of the greatest ever. Gibson is sporting the seldom seen half-beard, indicating that he was likely high when he last shaved.
Wasp Killer Nearly Burns Down The House:



Never bring a blowtorch to a wasp fight.

A New Zealand man tried to get rid of a wasp nest from his home by using a blowtorch instead of his brain.

The nest inside a wall of his house, so he cut a hole in the wall and tried to use a torch to smoke the little stingers out. Unfortunately, he set fire to the wall and would have lost his house if firefighters hadn't responded in time. They doused the blaze and told the man to leave the wasp killing to the professionals.

Uranium is MY-ranium

An elderly woman in Washington state called the fire department on Thursday to ask if they would come over and remove some uranium she had laying around.

The woman was cleaning out her late husband's belongings when she came upon a piece of the radioactive element, which she believes had been in the house for 35 years. Her husband worked as a miner in Idaho and likely found the uranium and brought it home.

Over the phone, the fire marshal told the woman it was hazardous and that she should evacuate. She left to go quilting and left the uranium on her front porch in a peanut butter jar.

Hazmat crews closed down two blocks around her house as they worked to safely remove the material. A fire department spokesperson said, "She must have thought 'today's the day I'm going to figure out how to get rid of this stuff and now I'm going to go quilt.' That was the thought process."

A High STEAKS Chase:

Texas cops are getting ready to grill a guy who stole an armload of steaks from a Walmart -- and then led them on a 100-mile-per-hour chase, tossing the cow chunks at patrol cars the whole time.

The cattle-part rustler, whose name was not released, sped along for a long while, crossing two county lines while driving erratically and bouncing his beefy bounty off the hood and windshield of the deputies in pursuit. The chase went on for well over an hour, and only ended when the suspect realized he was about to "meat" his match via spike strips designed to disable his vehicle.

East Mountain police Sgt. Marc Nichols said, "It appeared that there [was] steaks and meats of some sort flying out the windows, and one of them bounced off my patrol car. That's not something you think of people stealing, especially running from the police in the process. Today was a new one."

Workers get bonus in Meth:

Workers at an auto body shop in Minnesota did such a good job that their boss decided to give them all bonuses -- in the form of methamphetamine.

Police say that workers at Clear Choice Auto Body Repair in Mankato were called in to a meeting and told they were all getting bonuses. They were then handed one-half-gram baggies of meth instead of cash. Police executed a search warrant of the shop and found used syringes and other drug paraphernalia. The shop's owner, Jesse Michael Seifert, and his girlfriend, Nancy Jean Loehlein, have been arrested and an investigation is still ongoing.

The HOTLIST - Monday, April 25th

  

Cesar Millan: Dog Whisperer Engaged:



Television dog trainer Cesar Millan has gotten engaged to his longtime girlfriend Jahira Dar after six years together.

The former Dog Whisperer star who now hosts Cesar 911 on the Nat Geo Wild channel, announced, "After six amazing years together, I am so happy I asked her to be my wife. Thankfully, she said 'yes'! My pack is complete!" He added on Instagram, "I always knew that I wanted someone to share my life with who was sweet, adventurous, honest, and loving, but I got more than that! She is beautiful inside and out, extremely supportive of my entire family and me… AND SHE LOVES DOGS!" This will be the 46-year-old's second marriage.

Jared Fogle: Wins Lawsuit Against Former Employee:

Jared Fogle may be sitting in prison for 15 years, but he just won a lawsuit that will pay him more than $180,000.

The disgraced Subway pitchman, and convicted child molester, sued his former employee Russell Taylor for failing to pay back the money he loaned him in 2014 to buy a house. Taylor, who is currently serving 27 years for child porn and child exploitation, stopped paying Fogle when he was convicted last year. Fogle has won his lawsuit and can now sell Taylor's house to get his money back.

Hollywood Buzz:

 

Michelle McNamara, a crime writer and wife of comedian Patton Oswalt, has died. She was 46. Michelle, who founded the site True Crime Diary, reportedly died in her sleep Thursday. A cause of death was not immediately given. Patton's rep said her passing "was a complete shock to her family and friends, who loved her dearly."

 

Pearl Mackie has been announced as Doctor Who's new companion for the next season of the BBC series. She replaces Jenna Coleman, whose character left the show last year.

 

Warner Bros. says it will release the big-screen adaptation of Stephen King’s It on September 18th, 2017.
 

All You Can Eat Fries coming to McDonalds???

ALL YOU CAN EAT FRIES COMING TO MCDONALDS???

(photo credit JOERG KOCH - getty images)

Can we all agree the best part of McDonald’s are the French fries? I mean, there’s a reason we feverishly search the bottom of the bag for any stragglers.

Well, some lucky McDonald’s fans in Missouri are about to hit the jackpot, as all-you-can-eat fries will soon be a reality.

That’s right, endless French fries will soon be available at a brand new McDonald’s in St. Joseph, MO.

According to the St. Joesph News-Press, the 6,500 square foot restaurant will offer all-you-can-eat fries, customizable desserts, sandwiches and burgers, as well as table service.

TWANG TOWN LOWDOWN - TUESDAY APRIL 19TH

MIRANDA LAMBERT: MILESTONE ANNIVERSARY FOR 'RAN

Today marks a pretty significant anniversary in Miranda Lambert’s music history. On this day in 2003, Miranda scored her first major record deal with Sony Music Nashville -- and she’s been a boss ever since.

Miranda won the most awards at the Grammys, ACMs and CMAs combined in 2015.

Miranda set a new ACM record when she won her seventh trophy for Female Vocalist of the Year.

Last year, she found a ton of pups new forever homes and launched a scholarship fund for women in music at Belmont University.

The Nashville Convention and Visitors Bureau gave her a star on the Music City Walk of Fame, and she was the Nashville Symphony’s 2015 Harmony Award recipient.

She was among Forbes’s highest-paid women in music in 2015 with $28.5 million.

And her Cosmo cover was smokin’ hot.

KENNY CHESNEY: TOUR KICKS OFF THIS WEEKEND

Kenny Chesney kicks off his tour this Saturday with a charity show at Jordan-Hare Stadium on the campus of Auburn University in Alabama.

Kenny says, “Every time I get to play somewhere with the kind of history Auburn has, it pushes me a little harder to really raise the bar. And the mission and heart behind Music and Miracles raises that bar higher still.”

Music and Miracles is an organization that raises money for cancer research. Miranda Lambert, Sam Hunt and Old Dominion are also on the bill. 

LUKE BRYAN: CRASH MY PLAYA IS ON AGAIN...

 

Luke Bryan is bringing back his concert vacation event, Crash My Playa, for the third year in a row. Next year's event takes place January 19th through the 22nd in Riviera Maya, Mexico.

Luke says, “This experience for my fans has more than exceeded our expectations. From start to finish, everyone has the best time and it’s something my band, crew and I look forward to all year long. We love kicking off the New Year this way!”

Luke will headline two of the four nights, and additional performers will be announced soon.

THE D.A. OF THE DAY - TUESDAY, APRIL 19TH

 

ARRESTED FOR TWEETING?

 

Security agents at an airport in Vietnam stopped a man for tweeting, and he wasn't even on his smartphone. He was literally tweeting from his pants.

The man was trying to catch a flight to Taiwan but was stopped at security because he was trying to smuggle 18 live birds in his pants. Each little bird was strapped to his legs inside a little bag with only its head and tail sticking out. Most of the birds are banned from leaving the country, and 11 of them are on the list of protected species.

The man was arrested and is under investigation.

MAN SHE REALLY LIKES CHEETOS:

 
A Florida woman was arrested for punching a convenience store worker who'd tried to retrieve a bag of Cheetos that she was hiding in her crotch.

49-year-old Melissa Mower is accused of trying to steal the cheesy snack and a six-pack of beer from a convenience store. The female store worker confronted her as she walked out and demanded the items. Mower returned the beer, but shoved the Cheetos under her sundress and ran away. But the employee wasn't going to let her get away that easy. She gave chase and followed Mower into the woods. Mower again refused to give up the Cheetos and punched the worker in the eye.

As you know, it ain't easy being cheesy, and Mower was eventually captured by police, who found her in possession of the Cheetos. She was arrested and charged with theft and battery.

CALL HIM BRUCE...

A Florida man has changed his name to Bruce Jenner because he believes the name should be brought back to its "heterosexual roots."

The actor and bodyguard, who was born Mark Behar and actually once worked for the Kardashian family, says he wanted to take the name Bruce Jenner after the former Olympic track star became Caitlyn Jenner. His publicist (yes, he has a publicist) released a statement saying, "The famous Bruce Jenner name will return to its heterosexual roots where our client believes it belongs, instead of hanging out with the likes of the Kardashians and getting into car accidents as Caitlyn."

The new Bruce Jenner, who claims to be a "110 percent All-American Alpha Male," has a Facebook page promoting himself, mocking Caitlyn Jenner and supporting Donald Trump.

COPS NAB REAL LIFE MARTY MCFLY! 

 

Police in Oklahoma City have arrested a man from the future who traveled back in time to steal chicken and bacon from a fast food restaurant, and then assaulted an employee.

Cops say 36-year-old Dante Rashad Anderson, whom to the best of their knowledge is actually not from the future, walked into a Carl's Jr. and demanded food from employees. They refused and ordered him to leave, so he headed over to a nearby Arby's. There, he jumped over the counter and ran into the kitchen, where he pushed a female employee against a wall and grabbed a handful of bacon and chicken before walking out.

Officers eventually found him lying on the ground near a taco restaurant. He told them he'd stolen the food because he's from four years in the future, where everyone is dead, and he was hungry. He was taken to the hospital to have a minor injury looked at and then booked into jail on charges of assault and battery, larceny, and destruction of property.

The HOTLIST - Tuesday, April 19th

 

JOHN LEGEND IS A NEW DAD!


Chrissy Teigen and John Legend are parents.

The model gave birth to a baby girl named Luna Simone Stephens on Thursday. The couple made the announcement Sunday.

Chrissy posted an Instagram photo of the baby’s weight (6 pounds and 11 ounces), along with the caption: “She’s here! Luna Simone Stephens, we are so in love with you! And sleepy. Very sleepy.” John tweeted, “Our new love is here! Luna Simone Stephens, born on Thursday, the 14th. We couldn’t be happier!”

This is the couple’s first child. Chrissy and John wed in 2013.

KARDASHIAN'S FIANCE IS NOT PROPERTY 

Blac Chyna is her own woman.

TMZ says Rob Kardashian's fiancee won't let the Kardashians own her. Sources say the mogul has refused to sign with momager Kris Jenner or do the fam's reality show. Chyna reportedly wants nothing to do with TV as she develops a "Paris Hilton-style business empire, hawking everything from eyelashes to purses."

In fact, Chyna is allegedly telling friends that she's hasn't benefited at all from the Kardashians, while Rob has benefited greatly from her. Since their romance went public, Rob has indeed picked up a number of endorsements, promoting teeth whitening products and women's shoes on social media.

JOE MANGANIELLO: HOSPITALIZED WITH APPENDICITIS 

Now we know the nature of the so-called "mystery illness" that's been sidelining Joe Manganiello.

TMZ says the actor had his appendix removed late last week. Sources say his appendicitis was pretty serious with one insider claiming his appendix burst. Speculation on Joe's health begun Sunday when he failed to show up at a charity event with his wife, Sofia Vergara.

TMZ says that as of Sunday evening Joe was still in the hospital.

RIP: DORIS ROBERTS

Everybody Loves Raymond star Doris Roberts died Sunday in L.A. She was 90.

The veteran actress won five Emmys in her career, four of them for playing Marie Barone, the mother of Ray Romano's character on the hit CBS sitcom. Her other Emmy came in 1983 for a role on St. Elsewhere.

She also played Donna Pescow's mother on the ABC series Angie. On the silver screen, her credits included Barefoot in the Park, The Heartbreak Kid, Rabbit Test and The Rose.

AMBER HEARD: AVOIDS JAIL DOWN UNDER

Johnny Depp's wife Amber Heard appeared in an Australian courtroom Monday and pleaded guilty to bringing the couple's two dogs into the country without properly declaring them.

Heard had been facing up to 10 years in jail, but prosecutors dropped two of the charges and a judge decided to release her on a $1000 bond. Heard and Depp did not speak to reporters outside the courtroom but released an awkward apology video. In it, Heard said, "I am truly sorry that Pistol and Boo were not declared.” Depp added, "Declare everything when you enter Australia."

TWANG TOWN LOWDOWN - Monday, April 18th

ZAC BROWN CLARIFIES DRUG BUST SITUATION

When rumors surfaced last week that Zac Brown had been caught up in a drug bust in South Florida, Zac took to Facebook to clarify the situation. TMZ reports that Brown was at a hotel party in Palm Beach on April 8 when police came in and arrested some of the partygoers for possession of marijuana and cocaine.In a Facebook message posted on Friday (4/15), Zac confirmed that he was in the hotel room but says he had nothing to do with the people who were busted with drugs. Zac said in the message, "My dad always said nothing good ever happens when you stay out late. It’s a lesson I learned the hard way last week, being in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Brown said he'd only been in the hotel room for a short time when police officers arrived and arrested two people for possession of drugs. He also said that he didn't know those people and had no idea they had drugs on them. Zac also made it clear that he fully cooperated with the authorities and is not part of any ongoing police investigation. Brown went on to say, "Everyone is responsible for their actions, and I regret using poor judgment and putting myself in that position."
According to the gossip site, police raided the room after a man was arrested in car outside the hotel with 30 grams of cocaine. After he was busted, the man told police that he had come there with two women who were inside the hotel room.

RANDY HOUSER DISHES WEDDING DETAILS



Randy Houser and his fiancée Tatiana Starzynski are both very involved in planning their upcoming wedding. Houser tells People, "Making decisions together and planning a day that feels like 'us.' We like to do absolutely everything together so it has been really fun visiting venues and going to tastings." But one aspect of their big day is strictly Randy's domain. He shares, "I have been in charge of all musical aspects including the band selection and key songs. I have also written and recorded a song for the first dance which Tatiana will not hear until the day!" The wedding ceremony will take place in Nashville next month and will feature Houser's 4-year-old son West as a ring bearer.

· Randy also talked about popping the question last April while the two were watching movies at home. Houser said, "I just felt like it was the right time. I walked to the closet and and came back with the ring, got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. It was just perfect for us!"

NO NEED TO RENEW VOWS – KEITH URBAN
 

Contrary to what the rumors say, Keith Urban and his wife Nicole Kidman won't be renewing their wedding vows this year to honor their tenth anniversary. When People recently asked the couple about the rumors, Keith said, "I read that, too. I don't know where they get half of this stuff from. No." And Kidman says there's a good reason for why they aren't renewing their vows. She said, "We don't need to. The vows are strong, we keep them." Urban went on to say, "They're daily in the sense of action, as opposed to being recited. I like to think of showing those on a daily basis." The couple will celebrate their tenth wedding anniversary on June 25.

THE D.A. OF THE DAY - MONDAY, APRIL 18TH

PARTY FOUL 





A 20-year-old Georgia man is under arrest after he attacked patrons inside a bar -- with a bottle of fart spray.
The stench sent people running out of the bar, and police were called to investigate the odor. Witnesses implicated Blake Zengo and police approached him.

They say he was very drunk and slurring his speech.
He denied any wrongdoing, but after a woman told police that he had sprayed her in the face with a fart spray, cops searched his pockets and found a bottle of a "Liquid Ass."

The non-toxic novelty item promises to fill the air "with a genuine, foul butt-crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo." Zengo was charged with disorderly conduct, public intoxication and underage possession of alcohol.

SAD SACK IN YAK FLAK

A British man really had a cow when he woke up after taking too many sleeping pills and finding out that he'd drowsily gone on an online shopping spree -- and spent $3000 for a live yak!

The man, who really wanted to remain anonymous, went way beyond drunk dialing during his binge, and ended up placing an order with a company peddling exotic livestock. He asked that he be sent a "golden yak cow" that would run him a shade under $2700 -- plus about $400 for shipping. (You wouldn't expect it to walk all the way from Asia, would you?)

The sheepish shopper panicked when he saw the invoice in his inbox, but luckily, the yak-dealer was understanding. The would-be yak owner later posted an online update explaining that he'd managed to convince the seller to cancel shipment, saying, "Oh I’m sure you would've all liked for me to just let them deliver it, but my apartment complex would boot my [butt] on to the street. The only thing worse than being homeless is being a homeless yak owner."

DO NOT INHALE - GO STRAIGHT TO JAIL

 

A Florida man huffed and puffed when cops pulled him over on drug and traffic charges -- and wouldn't let him puff one last smoke before being hauled off in handcuffs.

A cop tried to flag down Shawn Rutig after he spotted the 31-year-old driving erratically down the middle of a sidewalk in Leesburg, but he refused to pull over. That's easy to understand, since the officers who eventually pulled Rutig over found his vehicle to be packed with meth, scales, syringes and other paraphernalia -- along with a safe filled with more drugs in the trunk.

According to the police report, Rutig did not resist arrest, but did hesitate before getting out of his ride, saying he really needed to smoke one more cigarette before going to jail -- a request deputies denied. 

BedEx

A FedEx employee picked a heck of a spot for a quick nap.

The unnamed worker grew tired while loading packages onto a FedEx cargo plane in Memphis and decided to grab a few Z's. When he finally woke up, he was 30,000 feet in the air on his way to Lubbock, Texas. He reportedly walked up to the cockpit door and knocked to get the pilot's attention, but the pilot wasn't about to open the door for someone who wasn't supposed to be on the plane and told the worker to use a phone in the cabin to communicate.

After the plane landed, the worker was questioned by police and released to FedEx officials. He was not arrested.

 

HOTLIST - Monday, April 18th

JOHNSON LEAVES AC/DC - ROSE STEPS IN



Brian Johnson is leaving AC/DC because of issues with his hearing. In a message from the band, the group wishes him all the best on this and future venture.

In the meantime, Axl Rose has offered to step in and help the rest of the band members fulfill their commitment to tour dates already on the books.

The band will resume the “Rck Or Bust World Tour” beginning May 7 in Lisbon, Portugal and running through June 12th in Aarhus, Denmark. Following the European stadium dates, Rose will go out with Guns N’ Roses for that band’s ”Not In This Lifetime” summer stadium tour.

AC/DC’s 10 postponed U.S shows will be rescheduled and announced soon. They will also feature Rose.

WAHLBERG VISITS TEAM OF BOSTON MARATHONERS

Mark Wahlberg, who co-stars in the movie “Patriots Day,” about the Boston Marathon bombing, surprised a few people who are prepping for this year’s race on Saturday. Wahlberg met with 68 members of Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital’s Race for Rehab team while they prepared for the 16.2-mile race today.

The actor was in Boston filming “Patriots Day” withJ.K. Simmons, John Goodman, and Michelle Monaghan. He visited with the people on the team, assuring them that they are going to getting the story right and making people proud.

“Everybody knows somebody who was directly impacted by the bombings at the marathon, and what a horrible tragedy it was. And when they decided they were going to make this movie, they had come to me and asked me if I wanted to be a part of it, and I was like, I don't think it's a good idea," “People” reports that Wahlberg told the group, which included survivors Heather Abbott, Roseanne Sdoia, and police officer Dic Donohue.

"But then when I read the script then I realized, oh my God, this is so powerful and so inspiring and such a tribute to everybody: victims, the rescue workers, the police department, the FBI, everybody," Wahlberg added.

“Patriot Days” is scheduled to open in theaters on December 21.

ARETHA FRANKLIN READY TO SIGN MOVIE OF HER LIFE



Aretha Franklin announced on her website that she is finally ready to sign for the movie on her life. She says she will have creative control, which was the major point in the negotiations.

Franklin made the announcement during a celebration of her 74th birthday, which was March 25. No announcement has been made as to who would play the singer in the film.

Franklin has six decades of music to cover in the movie, beginning with her gospel album, "Songs of Faith." From those humble beginnings, the singer has produced such classics as "Chain of Fools," "Freeway of Love," "Think" and "Respect."

JASON BATEMAN: SHOWERED WITH DRINKS

A waitress and Jason Bateman both had an embarrassing night Saturday at a New York restaurant.

The actor was attending a party for the film he directed, The Family Fang, which had just premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival. The waitress, perhaps excited about getting to work a celebrity party, accidentally tripped and spilled an entire tray of drinks right on Bateman. The waitress apparently turned bright red from embarrassment and didn't even know who she spilled the drinks on until Bateman got down and helped her pick up the mess.

THE D.A. OF THE DAY - FRIDAY APRIL 15TH

NOT SMART TO TAKE THE DRUGS YOU ARE TRANSPORTING

Two guys were taking a haul of pot from Las Vegas to Montana when they decided they should try out the stuff to make sure it was good.

Bad idea! The two became paranoid, and Ayala-Doliente called 911 while in Idaho and asked the dispatcher who answered to please call off the undercover cops who were following them. The dispatcher played it cool, asked a few questions, and determined exactly what was going on.

Coliente and Holland Sward agreed to stop and surrender to the undercover agents after telling the dispatcher, "Hi, uh, we’re the two dummies that got caught trying to bring some stuff through your border and all your cops are just driving around us like a bunch of jack wagons, and I'd just like for you guys to end it."

 Once the dispatcher determined that the two had no weapons, they had one “really nice” pitbull, and they had tried to wave the cops down but it didn’t work, he obtained their location and told them help was on the way. The dispatcher heard Doliente tells his partner that he (dispatcher) was a nice guy and was gonna help them out.

Each of the men were charged with felony drug trafficking and police collected enough pot for a haul of $16,000 street value, according to the “Idaho State Journal.”

Sward received a five-year suspended sentence, five years of probation, and a month in jail. Ayala-Doliente, who tested positive for pot, cocaine, and oxycodone on his November sentencing day, received a year-and-a-half to eight years in prison.

AN ARREST-ING RERUN:

A Florida man just traveled more than a thousand miles to own up to stealing something he hasn't owned for decades -- a television that he swiped way back in 1989.

Randy Iannacone showed up at the police station in Norwalk, Connecticut with a letter saying there was still a warrant out over the theft, which he committed while working as a custodian at a community center that no longer exists. Police first named Iannacone as a suspect for the theft several years ago after finding the TV in the possession of a man who said Iannacone forked it over to repay a debt.

Norwalk police rep Paul Resnick says, "We try to go out and serve it when we first get it, but sometimes people move and they're nowhere to be found. This fellow ended up in Florida, so he came back and turned himself in, which is pretty cool."

TRUMPED UP CHARGES

A Florida man who used an unlicensed scooter to run from cops said he deserved to get out of jail free because he was running for president -- and his name was Donald Trump.

The loopy loser, whose ID actually reveals that his name is Benjamin Moore, was spotted erratically steering the scooter down the middle of a sidewalk in the town of Stuart. When officers caught up with him, he admitted he had no driver's license and no registration, but did produce a large bag of weed from his pocket.

He also said that he deserved a break, because he could prove that he was actually Donald Trump -- and gave a birthdate that would make him a whopping 87 years old, nearly two decades older than the 69-year-old reality show candidate. He's being held in lieu of bond on a variety of charges.